We are trying to decide whether to start Sam & Mack in separate classes, once in school next year, or keep them together. I am thinking of signing up 1 of the boys in morning Kindergarten & 1 in afternoon. They have attended 2 years of preschool together & a few of their experiences are what brought up this dilemma in the first place. Some examples of comments they have made are, "Conrad is my friend, but he doesn't like Sam" or "I'm not good at my alphabet like Mack" followed by crying. I know that pretty much every kid will face these problems, but it made me realize how as twins they are always being compared to each other & now even they are comparing themselves. I started to wonder if giving them a little more of their own space would help them to focus more on their own strengths & interests, rather than just feeling bad about their differences. Then, they'd just have fun & enjoy each other when they do have together time. They obviously love each other & are very used to being together, so it's tough to know what's best. I know this decision needs to be based on individuals & not just twins in general. However, if you have any opinion, experience or insight that would be helpful, please leave a comment. We really want to do the right thing.
Here are my thoughts on the pros & cons:
Together
They may be closer as brothers & friends- may choose same friends
They would be learning the same material in the same way
It would simplify their schedule for me
Same homework- could help each other
Makes the transition to elementary easier, especially for Mack
They may get sick of each other
1 may hold himself back if his twin isn't at same level
Unhealthy comparing & competition
Separate
They could choose their own friends
May make them less close to each other
Less competition
Could excel at different subjects without comparisons
We could enjoy more 1 x 1 time with them
Learn independence & self-reliance
Will have to be separate in many life experiences as they grow up
Will still have together time after school or at recess/lunch
When I have done research on the topic, there are strong opinions for both sides. Both sides have great points. After asking the boys if they'd like to stay together or be in their own class, Sam said he wants to be in Noah's class & Mack said he just wants a class without a teacher! So, obviously they are no help in this matter! Len is leaning toward keeping them together & I am leaning toward separating them. Ahhh...! Thus, the dilemma.
2 comments:
My friend in Florida had twins and she put them in separate classes every year. She said it helped with exactly what you said. Competition, etc. And it would be fun to have them have different teachers that didn't group them together in her mind. I'm leaning toward separate.. but could they be in separate classes but have them both in morning? I would go CRAZY driving to two different kindergarten sessions.
I remember wondering what to do when Mason and Sydney started school, too. And, I think you are right, what works for one set of twins may not work for another, and I think since my twins are a boy and a girl it may be different than two boys or two girls . . . But, I left Mason and Sydney together in kindergarten just because I was working and sending one in the morning and one in the afternoon wasn't really an option. So they did fine in kindergarten. I was going to request that they be left together in first grade - just so it was a little easier for homework and all of the advantages you said, but when I told Mason he wanted to know what would possess me to do a thing like that. I guess after two years of preschool and kindergarten he was ready to be on his own and told me in no uncertain terms that he wanted his own class and his own teacher and he did not want to be in Sydney's class. So, I just decided to see what happened. They were put in different 1st grade classes and have been in separate classes until they were in 8th grade and just happened to be in the same Language Arts class for one semester. Every year they were in elementary school I remember thinking that they got the teacher that was best for them and that if they were in the same class or if they had the other teacher, it would not have worked. It actually made me think that they really do consider what kids will do best with what teachers. I never requested that they be separated or that they be together, but it always seemed to work out every year. The other thing I worried about was the "sibling fighting" that could have happened on occasion at school - I wasn't sure it was really fair to make a teacher referee family fighting :-). Kind of as a side note, the other thing that I really liked, is that by the time Bryn came behind them 2 years later I already knew every teacher in the building so I knew what to expect with whatever teacher she got. Sorry this is kind of a long comment, but just thought I would let you know what worked for us - good luck!!!!
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