New year, new approach

So, I haven't been good about keeping up on my blog because I really didn't know what to say. I'm personally sick of faking it, but "Happy New Year to you. Our year kinda sucked & I don't have high hopes for 2011" just didn't seem appropriate! Oh, well- I said it! That's truly how I felt at the beginning of this year, but things are heading in a nice, new direction already.

I KNOW it sounds totally & completely self-centered & it very well may be, but like my hero Sting says, "don't judge me, this could be you in another life, in another set of circumstances." It's impossible not to feel like a jerk for being frustrated when people are starving, homeless, living in oppression, etc.... It was hard to come to the conclusion that it's okay to be frustrated, because we all have been given different trials (as long as I don't dwell or not progress, that is).

True, most people don't blog or talk about their true feelings or problems, but that's not me. It used to be me & I found it very stressful & heavy to be hiding the truth all the time. I'm pretty sure if I were to go to a typical counselor, they'd tell me I'm going through a typical mid-life crisis. I mean, I am about to turn 37 & the average life span in the US for a woman is 74. Doesn't get any more mid-life than that! Whatever it is, it's been fairly miserable, but very enlightening. Really, I feel lighter lately. I truly have learned & have a strong testimony now that without the bitter, we would not appreciate the sweet. I have a glorious life & have many, many blessings that I recognize & am grateful for everyday. That said, it really was still a stinky, hard year!

Let's make some light of the matter, & forget the bitter. Here's some sweet...

Uh huh, this is a picture of my toilet. Actually, it's the boys' toilet & discovering these handy deodorizers has significantly cut down on the amount of dry heaving as I enter their bathroom. They work much better than a wallflower or any spray. It doesn't seem to matter how often or how much I sweat while scrubbing this bathroom, there is always a lingering odor that is unique to little boys & their toys. I consider this a sweet find!

Re-introducing a "toy room" to our house, was another sweet thing that happened in 2010. We used to have one, but after our family size exploded a few years ago, we had to get rid of it to make space. We gave Noah our big guest bed & put away my dusty art desk & poof! a new play room was born. The sweetest part is the 2 little siblings watching "Blue's Clues" together while sharing a snack. Ahhh! :)

One thing that I decided several months ago, in my fragile state (haha), was to start taking care of myself- not just everyone else. This goal is all inclusive. I'm not talking just exercising & eating my veggies. That, plus buying boots that you want to kiss & dance in, clothes that you didn't have in your closet in high school, hanging out with people that give you perma grin, laughing until you have to run to the bathroom for fear of peeing your pants & finding ways to make everyday stuff more enjoyable. I'm going to be my true self, which includes a nice pair of s#it-kickers in my closet :)

It's sad, but this little item has made me so happy this year! It's a cheap hanging rack from the local big box store & I love it. Laundry has always felt like something Satan stirred up to break me down, but this hanging rack & an inexpensive steamer has made it much more tolerable. I still have loads & loads of clothes to wash, but my ironing board is now not a table for all the clothes waiting their turn to be ironed. Now, I hang everything that needs ironing & steam them on Saturday night, along with our Sunday clothes. It's quick, easy & organized- all my favorite things :) I also have room for our scout shirts & the kids dreaded snow clothes. Yeah! Sweet!

Maybe this sweet thing is really an unhealthy addiction, but it's still sweet! It's called Kid 2 Kid & it makes me feel like a rock star. All of these adorable girly dresses were only $1. I look there every time I need something for my kids & usually find what I'm looking for, at a great price. I'm starting to do the same for my clothes, but at the big girl consignment stores!

The sweetest of all sweets.... our 4 adorable, wonderful, crazy & delicious children. We toasted in the New Year with non-alcoholic sparkling juice in mini IKEA cups. Bella's in her big girl panties, Sam has toothpicks taped to his knuckles, Mack is dressed & ready to go at 7:00 am & big brother Noah's taking charge. It's the perfect image of each personality that graces our house everyday. Without these little people, Len & I's life would be totally different. We love them so much & they are our world. When things are hard, they can still make us smile & laugh. Every decision takes their well being into consideration. They teach us & help us be better people.

They are sunshine, milk chocolate, lazy days by the pool, a good book, a warm bath, a funny movie & the best cuddles you've ever had.

I'm trying to take more time to have fun with the kids. We went sledding & Noah still talks about how funny it was when Jill & I flew off the sled when we hit a bump! We will probably never forget this day, even though we have many more coming. Like I said before, things were hard this year, but I have learned so much about myself. I have the best friends & family in the world & I treasure the times I get to talk with them. Walking in the mornings & working in the garage for hours with friends equaled some seriously great therapy! I can call several friends, even if we haven't talked for months & know I can vent & get great advice without worry of being judged. I hope I can be as great of a friend back. There are even a few people that I feel God put in my path to teach & help me. People I don't really even know well. I learned from one of them that disappointment is not bad, it let's you know where you want to go. It's true!

Len probably had it the hardest last year, and yet you find him complaining. He's been in a crappy job, trying to come back to church, struggling with school & he's always gone. The best thing that has happened so far this year, is how hard Len is working to change things. He has a bigger cross to bear than most people realize & he's really motivated to get his legs underneath him this year. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. Go Len! I feel lucky to have such a great guy.

Now, just for fun:

Christmas morning was extra fun this year with Bella. She was old enough
to really get it & was so adorable!

Sam, aka Bobo Fet! (Notice it's still dark outside as we're opening presents)

Mack with his coveted double light saber!

Paper Jamz all day long!